hey babe,
happy 18th birthday!
youve finally caught up with me in old age :P
hahaha.
anw, jus wanna say a big thankyou for sticking ard the past 18 years!
i truly forgive you for all your terrorising ways then :p
hahaha.

no la, you've been a really great friend!
in and out, we've rode out gd and bad times yea?
hahaha. still rmb fighting tooth and nail when we were kids :P
but yea... bu da bu xiang shi? haha.
so yup, thanks for being there, thru stressed times or not haha.
and sharing thoughts, secrets etc!

anw,
jus wanna tell you...
when you're 18, there really arent many things you can do anymore that doesnt require acting responsibly.
its kinda sad, in a way? but yup.
we all go thru tt, and we all must learn la. heh.
now that both edna and i are leaving for other groups (on loan mind you we'll be back!)
help jo w de class ok?
help to unite the class, and pay attention, not distract.
cos smtimes you may not feel distracted doing what you do,
but others may be yea?
so mus strengthen them k! :)
yup. as the next lao da of the p'pians...
set a gd eg, and cont ur quest for greater knowledge in the Word of God!
may he bless you abundantly,
and bring joy and blessings to others thru you!
piggies forever! :) may you grow and mature in the Lord!
much love dear. God Bless :)

把愛深埋在記憶中　說不出口一種難過
給祝福太多　不能覆蓋的我的痛
你要轉身你要走　不再多作停留

分開時誰說沒什麼　最難的決定是放手
眼中的落寞　說的都是我的錯
當你笑著揮揮手　你的沉默我懂

請別說愛我　推我像晴天　最溫暖的天空　卻換了季節
在絕望的面前　灑落一地心碎　就算是傷悲　我不想太狼狽

請別說愛我　別許下心願　下一秒鐘出現　你給的紀念
風吹過的思念　曾有過的眷戀　哭紅的雙眼　再讓我心痛　一天

screwed up,
jus leave me alone.

and everytime he calls me,
occasionally.
he makes me wonder
why do i let you cut me up into pieces
and him painstakingly sewing me back.
so you do know when u hurt me.
this is why i told u from the start,
that i cant trust you.
i knew how you were,
and yet.
i let myself get deceived.
im not gonna let it stay.
you've to make a choice.

you're amazing.
how i kept this cheerfulness.
and suddenly.
1 phrase gets me crying.

and my mind calls up
a line someone said,
somewhere along the way.
there's beauty in sadness,
you jus gotta learn to see it.

sua,
sometimes you should know
that certain things arent meant to be said
or taken lightly.

please, dont do that again.
it pisses me off.
im sorry.

somewhere somehow ive lost sophistication in articulation
these slivers of thought
once shimmery, nearly there
they have hardened into twisted rust

jus makes me feeling like climbing into the incinerator after jude.
bring me into your flaming dreams
i wont mind trading a lil bit of me.

i cant believe that im this distracted
you, you preoccupy all my thoughts.
where dreaded econs watch from the sidelines
where all of this goes,
like a tea leaf unravelling in hot water
we'd only know in time,
in times of trial.

and already, im planning till december
is that wise?
not if God's not in the equation

and then
a mirage, a refraction of As will come
11th till 24th december.

when these hands clasp so tightly
what they treasure cupped within.

sometimes i wish i dont have a heart.

in the wee hours of 4th nov.
24 more days to go.

and i cant believe it when you said that.
oh well.
i dont agree with getting used to things.
getting used, implies complacency,
status quo
its something i need to learn to break out of.

its true isnt it,
that many a times, when life gets comfy, you know you're in for a fall.
because comfort causes us to stray away for God
for me at least, that happens.
so everytime i think
" i can stay here forever and be happy"
i know that trials are coming up next.
that has never failed to be the case.
cycles of ups and downs.
if only i would learn,
to walk even closer when the going's good.
if only.

please God, let me learn.

build it up to a high
only to let me down
time and again.
you make me tired.

***

thanks julian! :) really cheered me up!
and thanks cat! omg you're the SWEETEST!!! :D

***

1 down.
4 more to go.
25 more days.
May the Lord be glorified! :)